Sunday, May 17, 2009

Never been a Blogger

My name is Kristin, and I never thought I would be blogging. I am a very simple person, however when it comes to talking about myself or my life, I can never find the words. The complexity of my thoughts would baffle you. I seem to be the queen of "when it rains, it storms." Or in my case, it's a hurricane. Things are either good, or very bad. I have learned to accept that life will never go my way, so that when it finally does, I am pleasantly surprised. I may sound pessimistic, however I am the exact opposite. I believe in fate, I have hope and I dream, but I also believe that you can create your own destiny. Once you can accept the things that you have no control of, then evaluate those you do. All I know is what I can control. There will always be things that are out of your hands, but I just try not to focus on those things. At one point in my life I thought I had everything planned out, all I needed to do was follow the plan and live each day, happily. When Hurricane Reality hit, I was left with tiny pieces of debris to pick up, sort through, and try to put back together. The hard part is finding that some pieces don't seem to fit the same anymore. It's like the puzzle has mutated into a different shape than it used to be, so some pieces just had to be thrown out. I was left with holes and nothing to fill them with. Through a lot of pain, suffering, and struggle, I had to create a glue that would hold the puzzle together, just long enough to find the pieces to fill the empty spaces. Some shapes I have found fairly quickly, and the structure of my puzzle is holding stronger with them in place. There are still some empty spaces and sometimes it seems like the glue is drying up, however, I have faith that in due time the holes will be filled, and I will soon again be on my path to happiness and completeness.

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